Well there's a little town called Congleton its average like the rest,
But if you're looking for some charity shops it really is the best,
We would go down to the river Dane,

We'd swim all day... then go again,
But if we did, we'd have caught diseases,
Wayne takes 2 hours to cut your hair,

That run down boat's still over there,
Now his dog does as it pleases,


(Chorus)
What a shame we ever lived here,
The buses can't get into 3rd gear,

And all we have in town is some charity shops,
A pound stretcher that sells Lukazade,
Ohhh what a shame,


So we got busy hangin' round the backstreets of Buglawten,
A Daneside theatre poster 30ft high up the back of BNM,

I wrote a letter to the Chronicle,
Deans toy shop sold me a broke bionicle,
And about some milk I bought that was mouldy,

There's a bag lady that lives outside,
Morisons or Tesco I can't decide,
I think I will just go to Aldi,


(Chorus)
What a shame we ever lived here,

The buses can't get into 3rd gear,
And all we have in town is some charity shops,
A pound stretcher that sells Lukazade,

A couple of *** take aways,
Ohhh what a shame,


We've got a museum, that nobody goes,
We'll be down the golf course, whenever it snows,
Our public transport consists of only the bear town bus,

We sold the bible to buy a bear,
Couldn't get that deal in toys are us,
We have a mountain that's called the cloud but its only 343m high,


(Chorus)
What a shame we ever lived here,

The buses can't get into 3rd gear,
And all we have in town is some charity shops,
A pound stretcher that sells Lukazade,

A couple of **** take aways,
Some people spend a lifetime this way,
Ohhh what a shame,

Ooooo ooo oooo
Such a shame, what a shame.