She comes in about six o'clock
Tripping over toys
And picking up socks

And you think her day
Had been a ton of trouble


She's been doing important things
With trading stamps
And turnip greens

And have I noticed how
The price of soap has doubled


She's as normal as she can be
She never misses Jeopardy
And I think that she'd elope

With Dick Van !#!&

And when the kids have all been fed

And when I lay me down to bed
She gives me my time of the night


Then she's a lover
She comes to my side
Right around midnight

After her day's been so confused

That's why I love her

And that's why I do right
And if there's a reason
God gave me a feeling

Baby, it's you

She hates tangerines

She loves the ring
Volunteers me for everything
And the bank has never

Been right in her life

She thinks my Uncle Bill's a sap

She's taught me words like overdraft
The only numbers she remembers
Is her shoe size


She had words with the guy next door
And almost started a neighborhood war

Cause he said something smart
To our son, Bob


And therefore, I had to invite him in
To apologize and convince him
She really didn't think he was

A big, fat slob

She's as normal as she can be

She never misses Jeopardy
And I think that she'd elope
With Dick Van !#!&


But when the kids have all been fed
And when I lay me down to bed

She gives me my time of the night

Then she's a lover

She comes to my side
Right around midnight
After her day's been so confused


That's why I love her
And that's why I do right

And if there's a reason
God gave me a feeling
Baby, it's you


Then she's a lover
She comes to my side...