Not for a Hobbit
Not for an elf or a dwarf
Not for a human

Not for a goblin, a troll, or an ork
Only for someone special
Only if magic's in the air


I would go gay for Gandalf
I don't care if he's grey or white or blue

I would go gay for Gandalf
You have no idea the things I'd do
The truth is it can never be

It's just a fantasy
'cause Gandalf is straight


He does like the ladies
Hetero through and through
Consummately manly

He's not the type to fall for dudes
Maybe I'm drawn to power
Maybe it's all that wisdom

Or maybe the beard

I would go gay for Gandalf

His wizardly smile is all I'd need
I would go gay for Gandalf
And maybe he'd share his famous weed

But it can never be
It's just a fantasy


But if it all could just be real
I'd gladly wander Middle Earth
Having adventures and

Watching Gandalf go to work
Warring evil
And hanging out in Rivendell

Watching out for Smeagol
Protecting all the Hobbitses
I'd cuddle his robes

Get lost in his laugh
And finally alone
The fireworks will blast


Oh how I'd go gay for Gandalf
I don't care if he's green or white or grey

I would go gay for Gandalf
I would go so, so, so gay


Oh how I'd go gay for Gandalf
I don't care if he's grey or white or blue
I would go gay for Gandalf

You have no idea the things I'd do

I'd go gay for Gandalf

I would go gay for Gandalf
I'd take a hand off from Gandalf
I would go gay for Gandalf

I would go gay for Gandalf
I would go gay for Gandalf