Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air

Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair

First aid in the first grade

First aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did

He slipped on a banana peel, flew up in the sky
Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye


First aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the third day of third grade, I'll tell you what he did
He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea
Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee


First aid in the third grade
First aid in the third grade

First aid in the third grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the fourth day of fourth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on a tadpole hunt, slipped into the creek

Landed on a large-mouth bass who bit him on the cheek

First aid in the fourth grade

First aid in the fourth grade
First aid in the fourth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the fifth day of fifth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He went into the garden shop looking for a rose
Sniffed a baby's breath and got a bee caught up his nose


First aid in the fifth grade
First aid in the fifth grade
First aid in the fifth grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the sixth day of sixth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on a field trip, the first one of the year
Backed into a sabertooth and pierced both of his ears


First aid in the sixth grade
First aid in the sixth grade

First aid in the sixth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the seventh day of seventh grade, I'll tell you what he did
He tried out for the talent show to show how well he sung

Cracked a grin, a wasp flew in, and stung him on the tongue

First aid in the seventh grade

First aid in the seventh grade
First aid in the seventh grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the eighth day of eighth grade, I'll tell you what he did

He tried to play some basketball went up for a dunk
Landed in the bushes and got squirted by a skunk


First aid in the eighth grade
First aid in the eighth grade
First aid in the eighth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the ninth day of ninth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He fed the pigs on grandma's farm, two piglets and a sow
Slipped on their slop and then got stepped on by a cow


First aid in the ninth grade
First aid in the ninth grade
First aid in the ninth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid


Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the tenth day of tenth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He went out on some water skis and hit a sunken log
Wiped out all the lily pads, got spit on by a frog


First aid in the tenth grade
First aid in the tenth grade
First aid in the tenth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid

On the eleventh day of eleventh grade, I'll tell you what he did
He swept and missed an alley cat while taking driver's ed
Ran into a tree and bumped the dashboard with his head

First aid in the eleventh grade
First aid in the eleventh grade
First aid in the eleventh grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Now... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade, I'll tell you what he did
He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone
Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan


First aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!