I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad

Well i just had to laugh
I saw the photograph


He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared

They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords


I saw a film today oh boy
The english army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away

But i just had to look having read the book
I'd love to turn you on


Woke up got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup

And looking up i noticed i was late

Found my coat and grabbed my hat

Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and i went into a dream

Ahh ahh ahh

I read the news today oh boy

Four thousand holes in blackburn lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall
I'd love to turn you on