They ain't choose math, m-m-math chose them
They knew it was their destiny way back when


These Cougar mathletes got a flair for the dramatic
Takes 'em seconds to solve equations quadratic


And when they take on other schools, it's automatic
Like this year they goin' win the Olympics of Mathematics


Jumpers and dunks ain't the skills that they study
Instead it's polynomials they factoring, buddy


It's straight up clear why their opponents always fear 'em
The way that they get sick with that Pythagorean Theorem


Crunchin' numbers for hours, solving equations in the shower
Each one is smarter than you to the hundredth power


Don't try to keep up once the math race gets going
When you're half-way done, they'll be already Tebowing


They'll leave your dreams charred with ashes and soot
And they'll introduce your rear to the mathlete's foot!


CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya
When they walk by don't do the wave do the parabola


It's Dittmer not Detmer but he's fly like Ty
And if it existed, he'd win the Heisman of Reciting Pi


Champ in high school, college pressure grew
Til the guv wants a pic with the top math recruit


And that's in Indiana where they worship their Hoosiers
But now the kids there love math and they say, "Hoops is for losers!"


Took his talents to Provo over Stanford & MIT
His range of integers goes to infinity


Dropping derivatives like threes, makin' Cougar fans forget
Ballers with no math like?what's-his-name? Fredette?


Laid down his calculator for two years in Albania
Now he's back doin' work, get loud, it's Dittmer mania!


CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya

When they walk by don't do the wave do the parabola