I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad

I 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-fi fantatic

Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me

That you need to see
Go check out MySpace


Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati

I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine


It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom

And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my ba!@&(t bedroom
And fire up the mac


In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA

Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.


Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich

And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time


I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online


When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend

But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in


Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online