Well, I've already had two beers
I'm ready for the broom
Please, Missus Henry, won't you

Take me to my room?
I'm a good ol' boy
But I've been sniffin' too many eggs

Talkin' to too many people
Drinkin' too many kegs
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!
I'm down on my knees
An' I ain't got a dime


Well, I'm groanin' in a hallway
Pretty soon I'll be mad

Please, Missus Henry, won't you
Take me to your dad?
I can drink like a fish

I can crawl like a snake
I can bite like a turkey
I can slam like a drake

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!
I'm down on my knees

An' I ain't got a dime

Now, don't crowd me, lady

Or I'll fill up your shoe
I'm a sweet bourbon daddy
An' tonight I am blue

I'm a thousand years old
And I'm a generous bomb
I'm T-boned and punctured

But I'm known to be calm
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!

I'm down on my knees
An' I ain't got a dime


Now, I'm startin' to drain
My stool's gonna squeak
If I walk too much farther

My crane's gonna leak
Look, Missus Henry
There's only so much I can do

Why don't you look my way
An' pump me a few?
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please!
I'm down on my knees
An' I ain't got a dime