We fell in love down at the pier
You were sunbathing, I was around
Soon we were sharing a beer

We fell in love at the pier
I'm no sentimental slob so don't think I'm queer
You got something baby and it ain't just my beer

Well, maybe it's the hot pants, maybe the heat
Or was it the sneakers you kicked of your feet?


I sat under my umbrella to keep my pearly skin
You tanned your oily body looking like sin
Well, soon I was sweating and I wanted to leave

You slipped into the water from too much grease

Well, I saw you yelling. I just couldn't hear

So I screamed back at you "Honey keep the beer!"
We never consummated our outside love affair
Too much tar and water, too much hot air


Oh, what a tragic end to love that was lost
We would have stood a chance if we met in the frost, but

We fell in love down at pier
You were sunbathing, I was around
Now I go to beaches with my girlfriend

No more love splinters in my rear end