No f*#$ing boyfriend,
Because he f*&^ing cheated
It's the lovely season

To be f@*%ing lonely in

Now I need a reason to stay in bed

Without my medical records saying I'm clinically depressed
And a little sympathy from my friends
Without thinking I'm a f&^#ing lazy mess


All I want for Christmas is Mononucleuosis
Don't care about the Christmas tree

Just please bring on the sleep for me

No gift certificate

Just give me someone's very sick spit
No box of Godiva
Just give me sleepy time saliva


Cause my happy time is my nappy time
And I just want to sleep all the freaking time

So find me a boy who says they can sleep for ages
And lets kiss and hope it's contagious


All I want for Christmas is Mononucleosis
Don't care about the Christmas tree
Just please bring on the sleep for me

Won't worry about going home
Just mess with my platelet cell count so
All I get for Christmas is mono



January through July and even through October

My muscles ache, my hair fell out, my throat is still on fire
Then I hear from the boy the one who screwed me over
Sorry for cheating, you're my everything,

Can I see you again?
Mono, oh, the gift that keeps on giving


All I got for Christmas is Mononucleosis
Don't care about the Christmas tree
Just please bring on the sleep for me

Won't worry about going home
Just mess with my platelet cell count so
All I got for Christmas is Mono


Mistletoe, Anyone?