"Borrow my cars-and then you give us a test"
"What? The Mario test?
"Mario? Mario's a $#&@in' psycho"


Its 1986, I'm in the first grade
I'm workin' really hard to get Mario laid

I gotta save the princess so he can get the #~!!@
Believe me-Mario will get that $$# so $#&@ Luigi
Mario really wants to get her in bed

So bad that he's bustin' up bricks with his head
He just wants sex - so forget the wedding bells
Jumping on lil' mushroom men and turtle shells

Dropping down green pipes and secret passage ways
Making his move to the end
Where the final castle lays

Eat a magic mushroom, grow a little higher
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire
All these creatures that attack won't cut Mario slack

Oh %#@!, hold on, I'll be right back
It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man

And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand
Mario doesn't wanna get hit, he'll shrink
The princess wont $#&@ a little kid? I think

So stay grown and attend to your own
And eventually the princess will attend to you're bone


(Chorus)
Save the princess quick
Because she wants a dick [2x]

And if you let her free
You get the #~!!@


Bowser's trying to get head right now from the princess
But if it's up to me that %#@!'ll stop this instance
Cloud people throwing little spiked animals

Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
I heard no body's yet run in the princess's oven
And Mario always says, ?Virgins, I love em!?

I hate the Koopa Troopers so I'm gonna run up
And jump on the back of their shells 'til I get one up
I'm gonna keep playing and I'm never gonna quit

Because some kid at school told me you can see the princess' tits
I'm gonna beat it before any of my friends do
So I can say I put #~!!@ up on Mario's menu

At the end of each level, I jump up and get the flag
And say to myself, ?Another castle's in the bag?
I hope Bowser's ready cuz he's in for a ride

And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide
The princess is a freak even though she has class
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her $$#

I hate the cannons, that shoot at you constantly
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
It's all worth while just to see Mario smile

Standing next to the princess, buck naked profile
So that's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid
Super Mario Brothers, best game ever made


(Chorus)
Save the princess quick

Because she wants a dick [2x]
And if you let her free
You get the #~!!@