It's 1986 I'm in the first grade
I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid
I gotta save the Princess so he can get the #~!!@

Believe me, Mario would get that $$# so f**k Luigi
Mario really wants to get her in bed
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head

He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
Jumpin on little mushroom men and turtle shells
Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways

Makin his move to the end where the final castle lays
Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire

All these creatures that attack him
Cut Mario slack
Oh sh*t hold on I'll be right back

I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man

And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand
Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink
Princess won't f**k a little kid, I think

So stay grown and attend to your own
And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone
(Speak hook 2X)

Save the Princess quick
Because she wants a dick
And if you let her free

You get the #~!!@
Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess
But if it's up to me that sh*t'll stop this instance

Cloud people throwin little spike animals
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven

And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'" (*from the movie "Kids"*)
I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up
And jump on the back of their shells till I get one-up

I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit
Cause some kid in school told me you could see the Princess tits
I wanna beat it before any of my friends do

So I can say I put #~!!@ upon Mario's venu
At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
And say to myself another castle in the bag

I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride
And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide
The Princess is a freak even though she has class

Mario will take a plunger and put it in her $$#
I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me

It's all worth while just to see Mario smile
Standin next to the Princess buck-naked profile
That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid

Super Mario Brothers best game ever made
(Speak hook 2X)