1. The haiku form is
Of an appropriate length
To describe this $#&@


2. When I handcuffed you
It was so insanely hot

I came in my jeans

3. We used to have sex

So we didn't have to talk
Now we do neither


4. We had a threesome
You, me and my depression
Depression $#&@s hard


5. I shouted my love
From the rooftops before I

Very nearly jumped

6. You didn't like me

But you did like my writing
I guess that's enough


7. Entangled, twitching
We came down as cenotaphs
Numb with limbless minds


8. Tried your fantasy
And pretended to rape you

It felt a bit forced

9. You learned of my pain

And said you'd try to fix me
That wasn't your job


10. You weren't attractive
But alcohol and codeine
Made a mess of me


11. You liked to be choked
You stuffed animals for fun

You were just my type

12. Halfway through you sobbed

Said you were touched as a child
I stopped and held you


13. 13 is bad luck
But three's a lucky number
14 would agree


14. It wasn't awkward
It was just double the fun

That's arithmetic

15. Puked everywhere

And then fell into a bush
You still wanted me


16. Our contrasting skin
Meant some passersby would stare
And we just loved it


17. You were a model
Who found me through my writing

Thank you, internet

18. We made a sex tape

I hope I find it before
My family does


19. I whipped you too hard
Inadvertently drew blood
Apologised quick


20. Cars drove by as I
Fingered you at a bus stop
(A romantic date)


21. It's strange to think it
But before you miscarried
Was I a father?

22. We both bared it all

Online for our followers
In different ways

23. ?You don't care? you said
So I pretended to cry

And then we had sex

24. You liked taking charge
And I went along with it
Out of laziness


25. I tried to whip you
Then I hit my !@*^s
It ruined the mood

26. It took twenty five

Twenty five misconnections
Before I found you