My baby came to me lately
'Honey, please don't take this bad, but maybe
When you laid me

Could we try to spice it up?'

I looked across the table

First to see if she was joking
No joke
There was no flicker

Just a girl who wanted more

Than meat and potatoes

She may stop at whips and chains
She needs carousal
More arousal

A bit of pain

So we started by using handcuffs

We tried a can of cold whipped cream
I was allergic to so much dairy
She had to finish it all by herself


Then I slapped her
She wasn't expecting

So she hit me back
She friggin' cracked me
I got a nose bleed

She was angry
She wanted more


Than mean and potatoes
She may stop at pumps and drains!
She needs carousal

More arousal
A bit of pain


Invite the neighbours
Or total strangers
Give yourself a leg up, honey

Wear 'The Queen' mask
Put on the French basque
It's full of handy holes

If we're going to use them all
We're going to need more than


Meat and potatoes!
She may draw the line at dolls and freaks
She needs some abusing

Some amu!@&(t
To get through the week


'I know you respect me
You won't reject me
And the arrow of our love is straight and true'