You and I have always been friends
And I admit I find you attractive
I think it's time I finally recommend

That you and I get sexually active

I just want to have friendly coitus

I just want to be friends who bone
I just want to platonically $#&@ you
And high five after you are done

Don't expect it to be good
Because I haven't done this in awhile
Let's have friendly coitus and do it with a smile


No need for me to spend the night
No need for you to give me cab fare

A relationship just doesn't seem right
But sexually we'd make a great pair


I just want to have friendly coitus
I just want to fool around
I just want to platonically $#&@ you

Because I know you won't let me down
Don't expect it to be good
Because I only take it in the rear

We'll platonically $#&@ so emotions don't interfere

I just want to have friendly coitus

I just want to get in your pants
I just want to platonically $#&@ you
I don't want any strings attached

Don't expect it to be good
Unless you like a lot of pain
Let's platonically $#&@ and never speak of it again