Viv : Some folk like to call it friggin'
Fornicatin', jig-a-jiggin',
Hide the sausage, slap-and-tickle or a lay,

Shaftin', shaggin', screwin', humpin',
Rumpy-pumpy, pumpy-pumpin',
Bangin', bonkin', rogerin' your end away.

But I call it
A beautiful mem'ry
The deed of joy

A sexual happening
Bodies touching, got no clothes on
That nice tingle, skin together


Viv/Young Viv : No more kid's stuff, it's the real thing


Young Viv : Now the world looks very different
It's a place of sexual happenings
Just waiting out there for me


I can cha-cha, I can rhumba
Now at last I've got your number

'Cos I'm thinking just the same as you
Doing the dance of love
Once I felt like Cinderella

Now I'd polka any fella
Any fella that I bump into
Doing the dance of love


Doing the dance
Doing the dance

Doing the
Doing
Doin' the dance ev'rybody does

Doin' the dance
Doing the dance
Doing the

Doing it
Doing
Doin' the dance, the dance of love


There's a million men in Leeds
And some are flowers, some are weeds

But the whole damn blooming shipment
Has the necess'ry equipment
That can satisfy my needs


Wanna tell the whole damn street
Now that I've lost it, I'm complete

I don't know about the tango
But it sure takes two to bang-o!
Come and dance me off

Me feet

I'm doing the dance

Doing the dance
Doing the
Doing

Doin' the dance ev'rybody does
Doin' the dance
Doing the dance

Doing the
Doing it
Doing

Doin' the dance, the dance of love

Good-day complete total stranger

What would you be like in bed?
What would you look like
Stark-bollock naked?

These are the questions that pop in my head
D'you know, complete total stranger,
I watched you when you walked by

I like a nice bottom
And fellas that's got 'em
And you qualify

Complete total stranger

I'm doing the dance
Doing the dance
I'm doing the

Doing it
Doing
Doin' the dance ev'rybody does
Doin' the dance
Doing the dance

Doing the
Doing it
Doing
Doin' the dance
Doing it

Doing
Doin' the dance
Doing it
Doing
Doin' the dance, the dance of love


Viv : Second time were disappointing
Not exciting, like the first time
His report read "must try harder"
Young Viv : Where's the romance?
Matt : That were nice love.

Young Viv : There'll be other sexual happenings
But I won't be seeing him again

Viv : famous last words!