As a little boy I dreamed of playing rock and roll
Playing in stadiums with every ticket sold
Seven figure income from a six string guitar

Dating gorgeous women and drivin custom cars
Then it happened when my record went gold
Now Im thinking whatll I do when I get old?

Cant live forever as the king of rock
Thats why Im investing in some blue chip stock


I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
Im a rock and roller with financial security
Sex, drugs and rrsps

Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

Im a modern rebel with a cause

I like finding loopholes in the new tax laws
My fans are reading bout me in the rolling stone
While Im talking to my broker on the telephone.

On stage I run around like some animal
But all my moneys in a compound annual
This life is dangerous but I dont care

cause I got insurance on my guitar and my hair!

I got sex, drugs, and rrsps

Im a rock and roller with financial security
Sex, drugs and rrsps
Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity.


We used to be such a happy band..
Phil and nick and bob and stan

But phil choked on his vomit
And then nick choked on his vomit
And then stan choked on his vomit

And then so did bob.

What a bunch of idiots!


Their deaths sure meant an awful lot to me
cause now Im getting all their royalties

They would have spent them on women and booze
But me I got commodities that just cant lose!


I got sex, drugs, and rrsps
Im a rock and roller with financial security
Sex, drugs and rrsps

Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

I got sex, drugs, and rrsps

Im a rock and roller with financial security
Sex, drugs and rrsps
Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity.

Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity.
Im a guitar hero with mortgage equity!!!
Hey guys, I brought beer!


History is made by stupid people


Scott became famous for freezing to death in antarctica
Columbus made history thinking some island was india
General custers a national hero for not knowing when to run

All of these men are famous
And theyre also very dumb


History is made by stupid people
Clever people wouldnt even try
If you want a place in the history books

Then do something dumb before you die

Nobility are famous for no reason

Mary antoinette enjoyed her cake
She caused a revolution when she would not share
And her husband lost his head for that mistake


The hindenburg was a giant zepplin
Its makers made a minor oversight

Before they filled it up with explosive gas
They should have fixed the no-smoking light
cause...

History is made by stupid people

Clever people wouldnt even try
If you want a place in the history books
Then do something dumb before you die

Tally-ho! tally-ho!

Our king and countrys honour we will save!
Tally-ho! tally-ho!
Were marching into history and the grave!

So if your son and daughter seem too lazy

Sitting there watching bad tv
Just remember you should be quite grateful
At least they are not making history
cause...


History is made by stupid people
Clever people wouldnt even try
If you want a place in the history books
Then do something dumb before you die
Yes...
Do something dumb before you die

Yes...
Do something dumb before you die