Fake tales of San Francisco

Echo through the room


More point to a wedding disco


Without a bride or groom




There's a super cool band yeah


With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine

And all the weekend rock stars are in the toilets


Practicing their lines




I don't want to hear you


(Kick me out, kick me out)


I don't want to hear you no

(Kick me out, kick me out)





I don't want to hear you

(Kick me out, kick me out)


I don't want to hear you


I don't want to hear you




Fake tales of San Francisco


Echo through the air

And there's a few bored faces at the back


All wishing they weren't there




And as the microphone squeaks


A young girl's telephone beeps


Yeah she's dashing for the exit

Oh she's running to the streets outside





"Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line

"The band were $#&@ing wanking


And I'm not having a nice time?




I don't want to hear you


(Kick me out, kick me out)


I don't want to hear you no

(Kick me out, kick me out)




Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though


So all that's left

Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf




He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar

I don't quite know the distance


But I'm sure that's far

Yeah I'm sure it's pretty far




And yeah I'd love to tell you all my problem

You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham

So get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook




Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook


Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook