I used to be a dead guy. Now I'm a $#&@ing Jedi.
And I've got lots of news for you and I've got a long list of things to do.
I used to dwell in the present. I used to be so hesitant.

But now I've got my whole life to live and I've got all my love to give.
To all you $#&@ers that I hate.
Like the gift of the Magi.

You sold your soul to buy some tits. I sold my soul to grow a dick.
We got to get them in van.
But what if he resists?

Just kick him in the back of the $#&@ing head
And put him in the back of the $#&@ing van.
It's a miracle of science.

A list of betrayal and violence and it lives inside us all
And it lives inside her heart just like a stupid, $#&@ing, tapeworm.
Who can we blame?

The husband divorced his wife after she cut her hair
Because she was way less $#&@able and that's just unforgivable.
He moved into a condo. He hung out by the pool

But he never wore a bathing suit. He just wanted to scope out the talent.
If God doesn't like ugly. Then God doesn't like anybody.
So $#&@ God anyway. God is obsolete. Oh, my God thinks my jokes are funny.

There's no one to blame. People are just $#&@ing mean.