This is a public service announcement for all men.

If you go to Bolton

If you go to Manchester
Or crewe
Newcastle, or Scarborough

York, or Scunthorp, Branford, Barnsley too
Or Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say


Northern birds are lazy ugly !@^%s who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink

Or you might $#&@ one
And end up getting aids


There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class

Slags who take it up the arse

They're in the sack

After one cider and black
But they're $#&@ing awful rides
And your dick won't touch the sides


Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da


Northern Birds


Da-da-da-da-da

If you really have to

Go up north then follow our advice
Fight away the women
Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice

And herpes
Your much better staying in the South
Northern Birds

Are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry
With a peanut for a brain
And an accent that makes you want to die


Now you've been warned
They're all physically deformed

Northern birds
Are all obese
And they're riddled with disease


Try to escape
Northern sex is worse than rape

Stay down safe and mark my words
Stear well clear of northern birds


Northern birds

Northern birds