[b]8 O'clock monday night at the bingo,
I finaly talked to a girl a little older than me,
her name is Mabice, shes a pensioner that i know,

she wares a cardigan and slippers and a pair of false teeth,
and when she walks, you can see her nipples touch her knees,
she doesn't notice me, coz shes watching countdown,

fancies Terry Wogan, waits outside the post office hours before it opens,
why wont she date me, i hope she doesn't hate me,
i know shes nearly 80, know shes on hrt,

as i fail misserably trying to get the gran all the old guys want,
shes the gran all the old guys want.[b/]