When I got to the party they gave me a 40
And I must have been thirsty cuz I drank it so quickly
When I got to the bedroom, there was somebody waiting

And it isnt my fault that that barbarian raped me

When I went to get tested I brought aling my best friend Melissa Mahoney who had once been molested

And she knew how to get there, she knew all the nurses
They were all really friendly but the test came up positive


Oh oh Ive seen better days but I dont care
Oh I just sent a letter in the mail


When I got my abortion I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour before the appointment
And outside the building were all these annoying fundamentalist christians

we tried to ignore them

Oh oh ive had better days but I dont care

Oasis got my letter in the mail

When vacation was over, the word was all over

That I was a crack !@^%, Melissa had told them
So now, we're not talking except we have tickets
To see Blur in October and I think we're still going


Oh oh I've seen better days but I dont care
Oh I just got a letter in the mail

Oasis sent a photograph
Its autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself I swear