Get up early in the morning, going to the store.
Post, Kellogs, General Mills?
It's the cereal war.

$#&@ing store never has the monsters and they never get more.
Post, Kellogs, General Mills?
It's the cereal war.

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock, it's got a condom in the
box.
I'll try some cocoa puffs

today who the $#&@ is Sonny anyway?
Some say Dino's are the best, they've got more marshmallows than
the rest.

There's not a lot of cocoa in Cocoa Krispies, and always stay
away from
Wheaties.

Now it's dinner time and I'm going back to the store.
I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot. It's
the cereal war.

I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes, and then I could try Sugar
Bombs.
The soggies will never get

Cap'n Crunch, I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch.
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet, that's the only kind I'll
eat.

Give me sugar, not nuts and twigs!
Do I look like a $#&@in' squirrel to you?