Stagecoach lady, hourglass body
making things glow in the night
well, she would if she could, and she'd be good if she would only

tell her lover she be out tonight
'cause I'm a bat
a lonely school boy

and I'm a rat
and it's too bad, can't get me none of that!
Salt Lake City, salt-lickin' bitties

*** stinkin' of gin
well my daddy was hard, his face was pretty scarred
from kickin' $$# and playin' poker to win

it's too bad
and it's too bad
can't get me none of that!

loose old lady
my mama Cady
chivalry was born at her feet

well she shoulda thought twice
when pa showed his dice
*** put my daddy to sleep

It's too bad
Lord, it's too bad!