Hanging with my sweet amour
She came out with a lion's roar
Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store,

Be back at quarter to four"
"Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer"
She can be like a maiden from the days of yore

Hanging out at Studio 54
Break dancing on the slick brick disco floor
With Lionel Richie

Who, by the way, was a Commodore
One time she gave mouth-to-mouth to a snaggle tooth boar
Who couldn't breat right since the Vietnam War

Then she played Chinese Checkers with Skeletor
And went camping with Eva Gabor


She's my sweet Beatrice
She's my sweet Beatrice
She's my sweet Beatrice

And she's coming home

I got a picture of her down by the seashore

Wearing a bikini made of purple velour
Her hair's up like Conway Twitty's pompadour
With the smile of Guy LeFleur

She got the ups and downs like an elevator
But deep inside she's a marshmellow smore
Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor

Either or, Neithor nor
She'll share it with your Labrador
She can run faster than a blazing meteor

Loves Winnie the Pooh and his friend Eeyore
Can make a pipe out of an apple core
That's a trick she learned from Roberto Parrish

Down in Ecuador
You know why?


She's my sweet Beatrice
She's my sweet Beatrice
She's my sweet Beatrice

And she's coming home

Well, for sure she opened the door

Whipped out a 3-ft fishing lure
Sexually, that made me insecure
Like the time I was a roadie

On Elton John's tour
She said, "Let's go catch some Piscatore!"
I said, "Beatrice, you don't eat fish no more."

She said, "By God, you're right!"
So we took ourselves a snore
And when we woke up 10 hours later

We made Love Du Jour

She's my sweet Beatrice

She's my sweet Beatrice
She's my sweet Beatrice
And she came home


She likes to clean out the attic every now and then
She's gonna knit me a brand new golfing bag

We gonna watch ourselves a John Wayne movie
Then we gonna free all the doggies at the kennel
She gonna try on my third grade mittens

She'll keep 'em on even though they're way too small
Well, she ain't never gonna hurt me
She ain't never gonna let me down

She ain't never gonna tell nobody
I'm afraid of birds and spiders


Well, Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
Bea-bea-bea-beatrice

Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
Bea-bea-bea-beatrice

And she loves Pat Summerall