When I was small I believed in Santa Clause
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas

Open my presents and I'd be glad

But the last time I played Father Christmas

I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor


They said:
"Father Christmas, give us some money

Don't mess around with those silly toys.
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your cash so don't make us annoyed

Give all the toys to the little rich boys

"Don't give my brother a Jack Sparrow outfit

Don't give my sister a cuddly toy
We don't want a jigsaw or monopoly money
We only want the real McCoy


"Father Christmas, give us some money
We'll beat you up if you make us annoyed

Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys


"But give my daddy a job 'cause he needs one
He's got lots of mouths to feed
But if you've got one, I'll have a machine gun

So I can scare all the kids down the street

"Father Christmas, give us some money

We got no time for your silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
Give all the toys to the little rich boys


Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time

But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine


"Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over

We want your bread, so don't make us annoyed

"Father Christmas, give us some money

We got no time for your silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
Give all the toys to the little rich boys