We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck
And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac.
She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat (*##$


So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went


Big fat (*##$
she's a big ol big ol fat (*##$
she goes to Ryan's and they say, "%#@!!

this one's gonna cost us...
she's a big ol (*##$!"
She's a big ol (*##$


She sweats grits
you can hide a pound of dope

under one of her tits

Big fat (*##$

She's a big ol (*##$

Who stole Christmas?

The Grinch
Who stole the Twinkies?
big fat (*##$!


She's a big ol (*##$


Yeah she had this cajun friend
who had a pet alligator
She ate that some-(*##$

like it was a green Now N Later
or a fried green da-mator
You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush

to masterbate her

She's a big ol (*##$

She's a big ol (*##$

When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, "hey Wanda!"

And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"
And now her pogo stick says, "HOLY !#@*ING !#@(!"
And they go "Bount. Bount."


She's a big ol (*##$
She's a big ol (*##$


She gargles and drools and spits
and she makes all kinds of noise

She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham
in her corduroys


She's a big ol (*##$
She's a big ol big fat (*##$!!!!