Gray hair, glasses, suitcase
Humble, clever
Constantly working for peace

Uganda, Congo
And the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan


Not as famous as Gahr Støre
Not a daddy's boy like Jens

But when handgrenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust


REF 1
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland

The United Nations superhero man

Mad dictator with a gun

Send in Jan Egeland
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland


VERS 2
Blue eyes, firm hands, nice legs
Clean shaved body

Drinking his proteinshakes
Spray-tan, skin cream
And buttocks like he was eighteen

He's a peacekeeping machine

And he stares, into the mirror

Flexing muscles in the night
And says "Boy, I think you're ready
To protect some human rights"


REF 2
When there's war and all is hell

Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations Superhero man


He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland


When he's sad he goes to funerals,
in unusually heavy rain

Large amounts of water in his face
But it cannot hide his pain


He breaks down just like a homo
And starts crying just like a girl
But I guess you can cry and still be a man

if your dayjob is saving the world

REF 3

When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
He's a macho musclepumping crying God


If there's one man you should trust
It is the Janny-boy

Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland