I dated Siamese twins
I slept with Bigfoot, too

Get me on Sally Jesse
Put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now

My dog's a narcoleptic

My mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on
Geraldo's show this week

'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now


I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin
And I'm only comfortable talking about it

When the whole wide world is listening in

Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me

My wife ran off with Elvis

My boss shaved off my hair
I've got a thing for poodles
And rubber underwear

And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now


I had a close encounter
I never chew my food
I got eleven nose jobs

I yodel in the nude
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now


I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-!#@$
!@^*o star, as you may have guessed

And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
If you let me get this thing off my chest


Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me


I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac
Albino go-go dancer, you see
Nothin' so bad that I can't share it

With a billion friends on national TV, whoa...

I have no genitalia

I sold my kids for cheese
I love my blow up doll, so
Bring out those cameras, please

'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now


Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me


Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me


Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me


Talk Soup... Talk Soup
Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me