You're sort of famous
A minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense

The world would be
Obsessed with every
Single thing you do


They're running 'round
With their camcorders in the night

They're lurking patiently
And hopin' that they just might
See something really embarrassing

You do

The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirts

That's the story that
They are gonna feature
With exclusive pics

Of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone
But that's right when you'll find


A bunch of paparazzi
Poppin' out of nowhere

Cameras in your face
And then suddenly
You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

Following you

When you're walking down the street
And asking stupid questions
While you're trying to eat

So you cover your face
Thinking to yourself
"Hey, isn't this creepy?"


And they're out there praying
You'll have a big meltdown

And take a mono-lethal car chase
Through this whole town
They'll be there with you

When you're going to jail
First on the scene
For every wardrobe fail


You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later

It's up on the website
Get a Vegas wedding
A quickie divorce

And they'll be
Sneaking in
Snapping pictures, of course


And if they ever catch you
Picking your nose

Or storming down the street
On a drunken spree
You're on TMZ


Stalkin' you, just waitin' by your front door
Trailing you through

Airport security
They were TMZ


They were TMZ

[We caught this oscar nominee picking up DOG POOP

Is that a baby back there?
I pronounce you guilty, of leaving the house while FAT
Look Who's drinking COFFEE,

Everything celebrities do is FASCINATING]

Oh, let me tell you

It's getting to the point
Where a famous person can't
Even get a D.U.I
Or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around

So you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town
If you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time

A star decides to shave their head
Or ram their car into a tree
They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes

Later on, that night
Well, I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ


You're on TMZ

Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be

They're on TMZ