I'm not scared, but this is happening

I'm not afraid, but this is real


It all comes at once


From every single direction

This time I'm not sleeping at all


How could this be real


I've failed you

I was lying when I said


I was looking north


I was too scared to show what I am

Bear with me this is all I have left


This night be more than a single conversation


It's been dancing around in my head

For quite some time


Just the though


Of cleaning up myself

I stare at the wall


Watching my time float away


It's all been a blur

And nothing will change


I was lying


This is defeat