I'm sitting in a park, drinking some tins
Smoking half a cigaratte I found in a bin
I see a little boy, he jumps off the swings

He hits a load of nettles and they're stingin' his shins
He's crying for his mother, but she isn't around
He's sitting on the ground, making wa wa sounds

I run over to help him, sit him up on my lap
I make a funny face, he starts to laugh
He says his name is Ivan, I bought him some sweets

I take him by the hand as we walk the streets
I got him a balloon, 'cause he's my favourite boy
I made him promise, we'll be friends 'till the day he dies


Knock, knock
Who's there?

It's my little teddybear
Spoiling Ivan, Spoiling Ivan
Ding dong

Guess who?
It's my little kangaroo
Spoiling Ivan, Spoiling. Ivan


Ooohhhh, never known a boy like you before
He's good at darts, hugging, and doing what he's told

I'd love to get him drunk, but Ivan's only 6 years old
I showed him my big muscles, he thinks they're really cool
And he said he wants a snake for Christmas, so I bought him two

And when his folks are sleepin; I call around to play
We rob his parents' !@(%e and throw it all away
We put on rollerblades, and skate around all day

With bellies full of sticky buns and fizzy lemonade



Knock, knock
Who's there?
It's my little teddybear

Spoiling Ivan, Spoiling Ivan
Ding dong
Guess who?

It's my little kangaroo
Spoiling Ivan, Spoiling Ivan


And then one summer's day, I call around to play
But all his stuff was gone and Ivan must have moved away
I couldn't take the pain, I took a midnight train

I opened up a little bisto in the south of Spain
And twenty years went by, my heart began to mend
I learned to live my life alone, without him as a friend

One day while I was working, and sweeping up the floor
I heard a voice that took me back 'bout 20 years or more
I dropped the broom and pan, across the room I ran

And it was Ivan who grew up to be a lovely man
I said "Can you imagine the fun we're going to have?
With nothing else to do but hang around and have a laugh"

He said he's much too busy to join in with my fun
But maybe I could introduce you to my little son
He looks good bit like him like him

And boi they act the same
He throws me up a high five he says Nigel is my name
I take him by the hand and then we walk away

I made a promise we'd be friends until his dying day

Knock knock

Guess who
It's not Ivan, but he'll do
Spoiling Nigel, spoiling Nigel

Ding dong
Who's there?
Someone else who really cares

Spoiling Nigel, spoiling Nigel

Oooohhhh used to know a boy like you before