It's the 80's and we're feeling so fresh
We're yet to discover the Internet
So masturbation is at an all time low

You're looking for a place to blow your load

You meet a girl, and she likes your clothes

You like her too and away you go
You throw the bait, and she takes the hook
Whoah pause the scene and let's take a look


Do you, or don't you
Don't you, or do you

Do you, or don't you
Use your head, when you go to bed *wink*


C-O-N-D-O

M is for mother, who told me a story

Wear a Johnny Rubber or you'll be sorry
STI's won't make you fly
Girls hate guys with syphilis



Take little Graham he fell in love

Too busy dreaming didn't think enough
But over time jennys tummy grew
Now he's the talk of the town with a baby too


Do you, or don't you
Don't you, or do you

Do you, or don't you
Use your head, when you go to bed *wink*


I-M-P-L-A-N-T

Love sock

Love glove
Willie-Warmer
Robbers


Rubber johnny
Johnny bag

Jimmie hatz
Dobbers


But something to remember as a rule of thumb
One up the bum and there's no harm done


Love sock
Love glove
Willie-Warmer

Robbers

Rubber johnny

Johnny bag
Jimmie hatz
Dobbers


But something to remember as a rule of thumb
One up the bum and you won't be a mum

C-O-N-T-R-A-C-E-P-T-I-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-N