Reach for the stars!

You stand on a distant planet

Skyline of red plateaus
Strange air and vegetation
you're a winner!


Welcome to the Space Olympics
The year Thirty Twenty Two

Take part in a grand tradition
Your name echoes in the holes of the universe!


Believe in yourself!
Take your game into outer space!


Every single galactic athlete
Needs a coded I'd badge
Drug tests are mandatory

you're a winner!

The Athlete's Village is on Zargon

You all get a junior suite
We don't cover incidentals
So keep your $$# off the minibar!


You're the best in the world!
Brace yourself 'cause there's no gravity!


You're in the mother$#&@in' Space Olympics!


Let it be known by every nation
you'll only get one meal a day
There was a bit of a budget SNAFU

And food funding is insufficient

We can't really enforce a curfew

As there is no light or sound
Just one of the many problems
With hosting a sporting event in space.


Attention all athletes.
There are minor scheduling

adjustments.

Space Disc! Is totally cancelled.

Space Swords! Is totally cancelled.
Space Luge! Is also cancelled.
And all other events are pending!


Welcome to your Space Olympics
All the oxygen has run out

And someone who will not be named
Accidentally hit self-destruct


As you file to your escape pods
I'll distract the alien hordes
And as I stare death in the

face I know my sins will take
me to hell.


You do it for the love My love
And there ain't no woman that
could take your spot my love