I like glitter
And sparkly dresses
But I'm not gonna talk about that

In my monologue

I like baking

And things that smell like winter
But I'm not gonna talk about that
In my monologue

Lalala Lalala

I like writing songs about

Douche bags who cheat on me
But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue


I like writing their names in the songs
So they're ashamed to go out in public

But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue


Lala Lalalalala
This is
My musical monologue


You might think I'd bring up Joe
That guy who broke up with me on the phone

But I'm not gonna mention him
In my monologue


"Hey Joe! I'm doing real well!
Tonight I'm hosting SNL"
But I'm not gonna brag about that

In my monologue

Lalala Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Lalala


And if your wondering if I might
Be dating the werewolf from Twilight

*Hi Taylor*
I'm not gonna comment on that
In my monologue


Lala Lalalalala
This is

My musical monologue

*looks around stage*


You might be expecting me to say
Something bad about Kanye

And how he ran up on the stage
And ruined my VMA monologue
*sigh*


But there's nothing more to say
Cuz' everything's okay.

I've got security lining the stage!

It's my SNL monologue


Lala Lalalalala
This is

My SNL monologue
Lala Lalalalala


That was my SNL monologue