If you love your lady then here's some good advice
If you want her to stay with you then don't go treating her nice
If you buy her flowers she'll drop you twice as fast

So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her $$#

Hit her in the %#@!ter

Treat her like a critter
F*ck that lady right
Hit her in the %#@!ter

Treat her like a critter
She won't put up a fight


If you're at the strip joint hanging out with the guys
When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes
Tell her that she's ugly and treat her really mean

She'll really want to f*ck you cause strippers have low self esteem

Then you can

Hit her in the %#@!ter
Treat her like a critter
F*ck that dancer good

Hit her in the %#@!ter
Treat her like a critter
Just like Ron Jeremy would


Hit her in the %#@!ter
Treat her like a critter

Use your spit for lube
Hit her in the %#@!ter
Treat her like a critter

Screw her poopie too

Don't be !@$!ed, you've gotta listen to my song (to this song)

Don't be afraid to get some peanuts on your dong
Hit her in the %#@!ter
Gotta treat her like a critter


Treat her like a critter
F*ck f*ck yeah

Treat her like a critter
Woah, she really likes it
Treat her like a critter

Yeah, my little !@#% girl
Treat her like a critter
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

She likes it in the $$#!
Ooh yeah yeah yeah