I'm sick of those pretty boys
Checkin' their mirrors
Waxin' their ball hairs

(Uh-ah, uh-oh)
I'm sick of those rocker boys
They're always cheatin'

With girls who are younger
(Uh-ah, uh-oh)
Yeah!

A guy who won't talk %#@! about me on Twitter
Cause he don't know what the $#&@ that is
Oh, yeah!

I'm lookin' for a guy who has some experience tonight
Uh-oh
Hey!

I'm sick of young dudes
I wanna guy who's 82
He can put up with me

Cause he served in World War 2
He thinks I can sing
Cause he's got real bad hearing

He's a little racist
So I gotta hide my black friends from him
He's 82, oooh

He's 82, oooh oooh oooh
Chill out with his old friends
%#@!ting in our Depends

Takin' medications
(Uh-ah, uh-oh)
Yeah!

After this we gonna have a big lame party, tonight
Uh oh
I'm sick of young dudes

I wanna guy who's 82
He has so many age spots
I thought they were tattoos

His family can't hate me
Cause they're all R I P
When we have sex he screams

?(*##$ who's your Granddaddy??
Cause he's 82, oooh
82, oooh oooh oooh

Yeah!
[Aunt Hilda] There's that (*##$ that stole our husbands
[Taylor and Larry] [gasp]

[Aunt Hilda] Let's kill her!
[Old ladies] Yeah!
We'll get beat up by women who are 82

Holy %#@! there's blood everywhere
That Asian one knows kung-fu
It feels like one of those nights

We got our $$# kicked
It feels like one of those nights
I lost my vision

It feels like one of those nights
Internal bleeding
My legs lost feeling

I'm sick of fighting
[Aunt Hilda] Oh, why? You too scared to die, (*##$?
[Taylor] Larry is an adult. Let's let him decide who he wants to be with.

[Aunt Hilda] Ugh, fine! Who do you want to be with, Larry?
[Larry] I-I-I. I ch-ch-ch-chchoose? [dies]
[Aunt Hilda] [gasp]

[Taylor] Oh my god!
[Aunt Hilda] Taylor! Did you not give him his 8 o'clock heart pill?
[Taylor] 8 o'clock heart pill? Ugh, that sounds like so much responsibility.

[Aunt Hilda] Ugh, it really is.
[Taylor] Hashtag, no, thank you.
[Aunt Hilda] Hashtag, I agree girlfriend.

[Taylor] Hashtag, you're kinda cute.
[Aunt Hilda] Hashtag, I'm not a monkey, but I'll swing that way
[Taylor] Hashtag, I don't really know what you mean about the monkey thing, but hashtag, I'm in.

[Aunt Hilda] [excited gasp]
Hey!
Sick of guys like him,

Let's just be lesbian
And after all this silly fighting,
Let's get to scissoring
Screw all these stupid guys,
Let's have a good time

Screw all these stupid guys,
Let's go out tonight
Screw all these stupid guys,
I'll give girls a try
Let's have a good time

Let's have a good time!
[Taylor] Ah! I forgot to tell you, I have herpes.
[Aunt Hilda] Hey! So do I!