For the first time in months

I got dressed up and met my friends


One friend of mine


Tactlessly asked me again

Whether I was on a diet


Saying that I'm unrecognizable


He asked me

He kept asking me


I can't eat


Because of you

I can't sleep


Because of you


So every day

I barely get through the day


I wanted to say that


But since I was afraid I'd cry

I just smiled


My family and friends


All ask me how you're doing

When I go to a restaurant or anywhere else


They ask me why I came alone


And every single time

It hits me again


That you're not here


That I don't have you anymore

Because of you


I can't eat


Because of you

I can't sleep


So every day


I barely get through the day

I wanted to say that


But since I was afraid I'd cry


I just smiled

No matter who asks


No matter how much they ask


I can't say your name out loud

Because I'm afraid that one word will make


Everything spill out

In case I might cry


I laugh even louder

In case I think of you

I only talk of other things


But the more I do that

I keep missing you more


And on my way home

I felt like such a fool

So I finally cried


I couldn't hold it in anymore

And I cried