Miss Marry Ann
Kept her man
In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves

And on that day
As scheduled
They made porcupine love, porcupine love


So stiff and stuck and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly

But lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other


Miss Marry Ann
Had a man
Named Stan, Stan Buttler

He had no antlers
He had no center
He had no enter and he had no exit


His hair was short and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly

But lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other


And how he loved her apple pies,
How he loved her meat loaf,
How he loved her chicken breasts,

How he loved her pudding,
Served promptly at eight o'clock,
Served promptly at seven

Served promptly at ten o'clock,
And promptly at eleven heaven


Miss Marry Ann
Kept her cans
In alphabetical order

Miss Marry Ann
Began to have
Some thoughts of murder


Miss Marry Ann
Started to think

Real hard about her future
Miss Marry Ann
Preferred her meat

To be freshly butchered

Oh she killed him rather quickly

Man that woman was truly sickly
But lord not any sicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other


And how he loved her apple pies,
How he loved her meat loaf,

How he loved her chicken breasts,
How he loved her pudding,
Served promptly at eight o'clock,

Served promptly at seven
Served promptly at ten o'clock,
And promptly at eleven heaven


Miss Marry Ann
Kept her man

In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
And on that day
As scheduled

They made porcupine love,
Porcupine lo-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-apchu!