I've been thinking about Kool Keith's $$# for a long time now
Thinkin about how I gotta get out find out where he hangs out with his pants down
I know he likes !@$^o stacks and cable, mentally unstable

But that's ok I'll cook dinner then make him dance naked
while I medicate him and clean off the kitchen table
He lives in LA I hate it there but I got big blonde hair

so I'll fit in, visit my Grandma, play her my new CD
And then from there go to Burbank, sit in the studio audience of Jeopardy
Make Keith take me to Universal Studios, Disneyland

Viper Room, then he'll get in bed with me
I mean, the guy needs a little therapy
"It depends how much you're willing to destroy my career"

Ha! That's what he says to me?
How ya gonna say that Mr. Dr. Doom insane
rat sandwich Dr. Octagynocologist Obscenity

Now he's on Columbia Records I hope it doesn't wreck him
Maybe it's better for where he's headed
There'll be more ladies, Keith's $$#, I gotta defend it!

Martial Arts Star Wars bar hoars I keep shot callers
I sleep with all Kool Keith lyric sheets in my teddy bear in my bare arms
I just wanna cuddle up against the bare moon, I wanna spoon

He could sing me "Blue Flowers" in my ear
But maybe this time, it'd be in tune
Look Keith, if you're listening send me an AOL e-mail

I'm a hot female, I keep it real, representin what?
Your butt