Don: A lot of people know that the Tri-State Area
Used to be a Bi-State Area with an Adjacent Area over there;
What people don't know is that originally it was three distinct

Single-State Areas, but people don't care.

The founders of the Area were independent thinkers,

Completely unaffected by bureaucratic hurdles
And that's why the Capitol building was moved here from Sri Lanka
On the backs of seven giant sea turtles.


It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,
Formed mostly from adobe and seaweed;

If you've heard it different elsewhere, that's historical hysteria,
So stop believing everything you read!


Over here's a diorama of the first diorama
Of Vincent Diorama, who lived right here!
When I say "right here", I mean in this very room,

'Til we moved him to a studio apartment last year.

It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,

Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss;
It's the birthplace of the onion and the Danville cafeteria,
And home of Bigfoot's hairless cousin, us!


It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,
Where planet Venus holds some office space;

Try to think of someplace better, well I double-dog-dare ya,
But if you can't, then get out of my face!


It's the
Don and male tour patrons: History of the Tri-State Area!
Background singer: History of the

Background singer, Candace, and female tour patrons: Tri-State Area!
Background singer: Area