You should stay away from roses
And be careful to avoid
chocolate hearts

Keep distant from romantic notions
Cause that's where love
most often starts



Be sure to steer clear of diamonds

And mink coats are most certainly out too
For if she goes in for that kind of thing
Just might fall then what you will do



You know you've always been the sort

Who's truly only fond of the sport
And who will never be satisfied
Reclining in slippers by the fireside

With a wife's constant nagging
for things that you can't provide
Who no longer bears resemblance

to that soft spoken flower



You were so desperate to have for your bride



Too much conversing with a woman
tends to dull a man's wit



Never be taken in by poets
Who claim that love if it's pure will never fade

Though love may last all right in a bibliotheque
In the real world man its too easily unmade



So don't take your freedom for granted
Don't let curiosity take you for a ride

As years drag on when you wake up next to her
You'll wish that in your sleep you had died
You'll wish you had died