Sit Back Now
Let Me Tell You A Tale
Where Justice Does Not Prevail


About An Ill-Fated Life
So Very Full Of Strife

Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right

So


When I Was Born
I Did Surely Scorn

My Proud Parent's Name
Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain
Drove Them Insane

My Birth Was A Curse
I Bit The Nurse
Oh, But I Love The Worst

I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed
Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse


When I Was Two
I Poured Super Glue
Into My Fathers Hair

As He Sat Unaware
In His Arm Chair
Much To His Dismay

Had To Cut It All Away
Oh, But It Felt Great
I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted

Then Tossed About In Disarray
Until The Pieces Melt Away


I Am Not A Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems

Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, Hell
It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Four
I'd Wait By The Door

With A Knife In My Hand
And A Most Devious Plan
It Would Be Quite Grand

As The Mail Fell Through The Slot
The Sharp Edge He Got
Oh, But I Love The Thought

I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot
Broken Bones And Blood Clots


When I Was Six
I Used To Trick
The Next Door Neighbors Son

In The Woods We Would Run
Time For Fun
Hide N Seek Has A Cost

He Would Be Forever Lost
Oh, But I Love To Scoff
I Deserve To Have My Head Lopped Off

Hidden And Covered In Moss
Until This Memory's Forgot


I Am Not A Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems

Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, Hell
It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Eight
I Used To Hate
The Color Of My House
So As Quiet As A Mouse

I Burned It Down
To The Ground
When No One Was Around
Oh, But I Love The Sound
I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down

Rotting Six-Feet Underground

When I Was Ten
I Used To Pretend
To Drown In The Sea

Till They'd Come To Rescue Me
Then Preceed
To Laugh In Their Face
Such A Disgrace
Oh, But I Love The Taste

I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced
All Over The Fireplace
Until This Life Has Been Erased

I Am Not A Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
*Not Quite What He Seems*
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, Hell
It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Twelve
I Used To Delve
Into Evil Schemes
Just To Elicit Screams
Boost My Self Esteem
Pushed My Sister Down A Well

She Just Fell
Oh, But I Love To Dwell
I Deserve To Roast Deep Down In Hell
Where No One Can Hear Me Yell

When I Was Fourteen
Nothing Much Happened


Well
There Was That One Time

I Am Not A Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems
Not Quite What He Seems
Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, Hell
It's Exactly What It Seems


When I Was Sixteen
Life Was Frightening
My Brother Was Quite Dull
So With Laughter In My Skull
Pushed Him In A Hole
Then Buried Him Alive
He Barely Survived
Oh, But I Love The Cries
I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried
In An Electric Chair That's Set On High

Now That I'm Eighteen
I Still Hate Things
From This Padded Cell I Call My Home
No Friends, No Phone
No Life To Call My Own

Here I Will Lie
Until The Very Day I Die
Until My Blood Begins To Dry
And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came

So

I Am Not A Bad Man
Even Though I Do Bad Things
Very Bad Things
Such Horrible Things
But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What I Seem
Ah, Hell
I'm Exactly What I Seem