"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Marion Barry, Former Mayor, Washington, DC
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Former Manager of the Philadelphia Phillies
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian Cabinet Minister
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, Former NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, Reserve Officers' Training Corps instructor
"Your food stamps will be stopped, effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, SC
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
- George H.W. Bush, Former U.S. President
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel.
"I've read about foreign policy and studied - I know the number of continents."
- George Wallace (during his 1968 presidential campaign)
"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
- Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, former Florida State football coach
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman, Golfer
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher (when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices)
"That's so, when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
- Stu Grimson, former Chicago Blackhawks left winger, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
- Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on the shortage of city parking spaces
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player
Send "BRAIN CRAMPS" Ringtone to your Cell 
- Brooke Shields
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Marion Barry, Former Mayor, Washington, DC
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Former Manager of the Philadelphia Phillies
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle, Former U.S. Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian Cabinet Minister
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman, Former NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, Reserve Officers' Training Corps instructor
"Your food stamps will be stopped, effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, SC
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
- George H.W. Bush, Former U.S. President
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel.
"I've read about foreign policy and studied - I know the number of continents."
- George Wallace (during his 1968 presidential campaign)
"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
- Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, former Florida State football coach
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman, Golfer
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
- Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher (when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices)
"That's so, when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
- Stu Grimson, former Chicago Blackhawks left winger, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
- Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on the shortage of city parking spaces
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
- Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player
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