What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not who I want to be
I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall!


What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame....


I tried to join a ping-pong club,
Sign on the door said all full up!
I got nicked, fighting in the road

An' the judge didn't even know

What's my name


Dad got pissed so I got clocked
Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot

Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box
Drives you $#&@ing mad


What's my name

Now I'm round the back of your house at night

Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight?
I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip
An' you won't know who came


What's my name