Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie,
When the little blighter only cost me five.
The veterinary surgeon saw me coming,

But I had to keep my feathered friend alive;

He was shaking on his perch, the kids were crying,

The family gathered round his little cage.
I said I think it's time we got a new one,
that's when the family went into a rage.


Oh, the waiting room ponged like a rat house,
With heartworms and lungworms and lice.

And a Persian had her eye on the shoebox,
I suppose she thought our budgie might be nice.


Well the bird %#@! on the veterinary surgeon,
I heard him say the dirty little chick.
Guess he wondered why I didn't use my brains

And hit him over the head with a brick.

[Chorus:]

Oh antibiotics for his colour,
Two drops a day on his beak.
Some powder on the nose for his feathers

And clean out his cage twice a week.

Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie

When the little blighter only cost me five
And the bludger wakes me early in the morning,
it's got me puzzled how he survives.


One night I'll feed him to the tom cat.
Instead of worrying about him when we go away.

No-one wants to feed a %#@!ty budgie,
When everyone's on holiday.


[Repeat Chorus]