I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I hit with a power mower
One leg is missing the other is gone

One leg is scattered all over the lawn
No use complaining, the one leg remaining
Is spinning on the car-port floor

That's why I'm looking over
My dead dog Rover
That I hit with a power mower


I'm squirting over my girl's pullover
That she left on the bedroom floor

I got excited and when I withdrew
I hit the curtains and bedside lamp too
In my elation my ej*culation

Went and filled up the dressing table drawer
That's why I'm squirting over my girl's pullover
She left on the bedroom floor


Well I got run over by a white Landrover
That was driven by an officer of the law

She was a Sergeant from Paddington nick
She seemed quite friendly so I showed her my dick
Unable to function I used her truncheon

And soon she was yelling out for more
So I got my leg over in a white Landrover
That was driven by an officer of the law


Now she's my baby...
Driven by an officer of the law

I don't mean maybe...
Driven by an officer of the law


Then there is another un-recorded verse discovered in
the Biggun archives that was popular during live
performances at the time when it had a certain

relevance and referred to a current children's TV
programme...


Gordon the gopher
he w*nked on the sofa
One mornin' on kids channel 4

He f*cked Gaby Roslin
He F*cked Zig and Zag
And Nobby the sheep had a vigorous sh*g

He stuffed up the stoppers
Of several teeny boppers
He was up it with a puppet on the floor

Then he got his leg over
Martina Navratilova
Which no-one had managed before