A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snow globe
A smurf TV tray

I bought on eBay
My house is filled with this crap, shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day

What I bought on eBay
Tell me why?
I need another pet rock

Tell me why?
I got that Alf alarm clock
Tell me why?

I bid on Shatner's old toupee
They had it on eBay
I'll buy you knick-knack

Just check my feedback
A++
They all say

They love me on eBay
Gonna buy
A slightly damaged golf bag

Gonna buy
Some beanie babies new with tag
From some guy

I've never met
In Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With 2 seconds left to go
Whoa

Got PayPal or Visa
Whatever will please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy your tchotckes
Sell me your watch please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)

I'm highest bidder now!
Junk keeps arriving in the mail
From that worldwide garage sale

Hey! a Dukes of Hazard ashtray
Oh yeah, I bought it on eBay
Wanna buy

A Pacman fever lunch box
Wanna buy
A case of vintage tube socks

Wanna buy
A Kleenex used by Dr. Dre
Found it on eBay

Gonna buy
That Farrah Fawcett poster
Gonna buy

Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why, the kind of stuff you'd throw away
I'll buy on eBay

What I bought on
E-ee-eeeBaaaaaaaay