There´s a story about a bloke named Jerry
Got slaughtered and got real lairy
In the pub he acted obsured

And he came onto a boxer's bird
So he got knocked out
Face swelled up like a rainbow trout

His girl found out the truth
But he couldn´t explain cause he'd lost a tooth


I wanna drink drink drink smoke $#&@ fight
I wanna shout, drink, scream, I wanna die!
I wanna be arrested

I wanna be molested
And my heads in pain, next
weekend lets do it again!


An anecdote about a man named clive
wasn´t one to usually drink drive

And after all he'd been through a stack
And so it was abit far to walk back
A month later and he's sitting in court

For the two lives he cut short
Man slaughter he's convicted
For the pain that he inflicted


Spinning, my head is spinning, up around around!
Down to the pub

Up to the club!
My stomach's turning, oh my body's burning
Our liquid lives

This is how we all survive

Here's a story about a chap named Bart

Drank 4 pints in hour and a half
Although the night had just begun
Cause the local pub was open till one

The next morning out in the country
Hung over and on the hunt he
Was still drunk and he risked hiself

Fell off his horse and shot himself

I wanna drink drink drink smoke $#&@ fight

I wanna shout, drink, scream, I wanna die!
I wanna be arrested
I wanna be molested

And I´ve damaged my brain, next
weekend lets do it again!


Here's a story about a girl named Kate
Got wasted and got date raped
When they told the doctors she'd sued

The found no chemicals was in her bloodstream
'well nothing malicious, but the
alcohol levels were suspicious!'

When asked who had hurt her
Poor old Kate couldn´t remember.


Our liquid lives this is how we all survive
And my heads in pain, next weekend lets do it again
Down to the pub

Upto the club!
And I´ve damaged my brain, next
weekend lets do it again!


Spinning, my head is spinning, up around around!
Down to the pub

Up to the club!
My stomach's turning, oh my body's burning
Our liquid lives

This is how we all survive

(Go on, drink up England! Come

on, swig it up. it´s what you
all do best!)