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GARFUNKEL AND OATES lyrics : "Weed Card"

Everyone knows !@!@&&'s dangerous
And medical pot is really strong
That's why it's so hard in California

To get your weed card
Unless something's really wrong
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor

It's a long shot but I gotta try
She hands me a list of all the ailments
I can have to qualify

Can't believe what I am reading
This is just what I've been needing
A government supply

To get legally high

Weed card, that's what I need

Hardly ever, okay, always
But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription


You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams or anxiety
Propensity for drugs or alcohol, anorexia or obesity

Too fat, too thin, either way you win
Carpal tunnel syndrome, color blindness
St-st-stuttering, t-t-tooth decay

Fatigue, depression, motion sickness
Impotence or TMJ
You can smoke to quit cigarettes

For asthma or mother$#&@ing Tourette's
It's a dream come true
There's nothing pot can't do


Weed card, that's what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always

But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription


Got back pain, need Mary Jane
Can't handle this, need cannabis
Got a stomach ache, gotta wake and bake

Have an injury, need TCH
Get $#&@ed up for your hyperhydrosis
Which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis

It's not a crime, it's 420 time

Weed card, that's what I need

Hardly ever, okay, always
But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription

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